mEXICO

JT

Before I had embarked on my trip to Poland I had already enrolled on a bootcamp in Mexico courtesy of James Tusk and co. With his elite team in situ I was promised a custom program of daygame fast track learning the likes of which had seldom been seen on these shores. After having masculinity, almost literally, pumped into my endocrine system i would surely have to just raise an eyebrow at the opposite sex to induce orgasms at 20 paces. My first impressions were that this was a scam.

So I signed up.

Having flown into Mexico City I was impressed with Polanca. It was delightful. Airy little courtyards, delightful frescos, idyllic little tree-strewn streets hosting all manner of taco, fajitas, burritos stalls, etc. All in a barmy, mid-20s, dappled sunshine. What a treat. I must confess over 4 days I really fell for the place. I hope to return.

But first there was the elite level training to imbibe.

I arrived at a breezy bar in downtown Mexico City. James was yet to arrive but his lieutenant in love - South African Les - was already there, holding court. Now dont get me wrong Ive got nothing against Les, hes an affable lad, easy-going, chatty. But I know a chancer when I see one.

And then Tusk arrived. Now Tusk is a beast, he blocked out the sun moving to the table. He sat down and began his pitch. We were to break up into teams, each overseen by a 'coach' and hit the ground running. The natives, he informed us were 'friendly'. Reading between the lines i read this as 'even yous schnooks cant f*ck this up'.

And what of my compatriots? My fellow students of the dark arts. Well a sorrier bunch of remedial fuckwits it would be harder to find.

One lad told us he put all his leads in a whatsapp group and texted them en masse - as it saved time. Another, spoke little to no English or spanish. Possibly Chinese, or just a lost tourist who had joined the wrong group. Another guy was potentially allergic to women.

There was one lad, however, from America who looked really normal. A chad even. I couldnt immediately see what his problem was. Was he a coach, even?

So Les opened proceedings...

"Raaaat, I wont you to staaat by doing a little teasing exercaaarse." The handsome american drew the short straw and went first. "Mr C - gently tease TommyOh. Gaaa for eet!!"

"You're old. And you dress like shit".

It was going to be a long day

mETE

One of the lads was a laconic, softly-spoken american. He rarely smiled. When he did it probably only registered on the subatomic scale. Such was the disdain he had for any display of mirth. Or perhaps he just didnt like Mexico. Or people. From Texas or somewhere South if I recall. He was a decent lad. Martial artist like myself and heavily into his IT. In Security Systems he had found dating difficult. Leery of online dating he had not really had any significant success with women. One woman, he said, had even walked out on a date with him as she, and I quote, had failed in her due-diligence on him before the date. She informed him that she considered it creepy that he had left no footprint online. Well quite.

Me and my nascent american wing were to be paired with Mete (of Mr M Lifestyle fame). As it turned out this was a serious stroke of good fortune. Within 5 or so minutes it was clear that Mete was an elite-class slayer.

Mr M is an easy-going yank. Naturally charming and debonair. Sort of a pickup great gatsby - equal parts bon viveur and handsome lounge lizard. Dark and brooding in countenance but with a lightness of spirit. When he told us he had been laid every night since he had arrived we looked non-plussed - as if the very possibility of any alternative would have lacked plausibility

"Ya gadda remember that ya basic latina is promiscous baa nature. Its just the way they are".

I told him I had had a 3 hour date with a mexican girl yesterday (this was Day 2 by the way) and he laughed out loud.

"3 HAAARS!! OH MA GENTLE JEESUS! 3 HAAARS???. No no no, maaa frien. Ya onnly need 30 minutes. Thats all y'all need for comfort! Sheeeeet!!" (ok he didnt swear but i needed it for comedic effect ; )

Face Like a welders bench

rUBY

Early in the session I declared that, "I think I need to challenge myself a bit. I need to be pushed out of my comfort zone. Guys... what do you reckon?", "translation... you want first pick of the hottest bitches", my american friend shot back. No hint of a smile.

I cant lie. The quality was not brilliant. The girls were amenable and genuinely seemed interested in meeting foreigners. Mexico seems to be highly ethnically homogenous. Id say north of 99% of the population are mexican. We were a novelty. Tusk was right, they should have been easy pickings. Any normy on a wet Friday night in Basingstoke would have sufficient game to smash here. Yet here we were. Unfucked.

I saw her meandering down the street, dressed head to toe in pink. This was pre-barbie. She was ahead of the curve. If a little ridiculous. Ok, completely ridiculous.

I approached and she was a yes girl. Friendly, chatty, flirty. Curvy with that gorgeous mayan brown, smooth, coffee-coloured skin. She number closed me and winked as she left. Could be game on here lads.

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We met at this bar near my hotel. Kinda Condesa area I think. Its a great bar! Check it out if you get a chance. We had mescal and other cocktails. I followed Mete's advise religiously. It went great! What can I say - some dates are just effortless. You flirt, they purr at your advances, they laugh at your attempts at humour. Your in flow. Your living your best life. Some dates just go that way. Quite frankly i think i could have asked her to make me a cup of bovril in the kitchen and read me a chapter of the Lionl the Witch and the Wardrobe in a Pink Panther onesie and she would have done it. A totally compliant little f*ck-moppet.

Back at the hotel (a short 200m bounce back. Logistics is king) I put on some raggaeton on a spotify playlist and she literally jumped me. I didnt have time to crack open wine or anything. Tusk texted me a condom emoji and she hungrily sucked me off. How I laughed.

Next day we had lovely morning sex and she asked if I wanted her to leave. I said no. I thought this was very odd. I felt sorry for her if this was her normal experience of men. There is a gulf between western and latina women in mindset, I think.

We hung out all day and she took me to a museum where I learnt all about the Aztecs and the Mayans.

And I didnt want to leave her in all honesty. We agreed to meet up again soon. Wishful thinking on steriods. But we still text each other even now. And follow each other on Insta.

Goodbye Mexico City. For now....